Friday, December 05, 2014


How To Train Your Dragon (To Be A Racist) "2"

I just watched Dreamwork's "How To Be A Dragon 2" and boy am I racist.

See, the sequel is about how the peaceful Vikings and their pet Dragons are being threatened to wage war with another ex-viking from long ago.

Y'know, the black viking.

The one with Dreadlocks.

Voiced by the hardly-intelligible-to-begin-with Djimon Hounsou doing a sort of african-nordic-scottish accent.

"Well, at least there's a black guy playing him!" you say; "I mean, if there were no black people in this movie about Vikings, then you'd be marching and chanting about equal opportunity and affirmative action!"

"We had America Ferrera voicing a major part, isn't that enough?"

I keep using the word "voicing" so that you realize how ridiculous it is that in this movie there really is not only ONE black guy on screen, he is also the only one voicing himself- THE BAD GUY.

So, if you're wondering why it seems we can't get justice when black kids get killed, just have a movie night and explain to your kids that this dreadlocked foreigner HAD to be killed because he was trying to conquer those oh-so peaceful VIKINGS.