Friday, November 23, 2012

Look Sexy, Save Money, and Help Some Sick Kids...

Today is Black Friday, and the stores are selling, selling, selling. Well today, I felt like I should be helping someone, and I realized that I have stuff to sell, and I could help people along the way...
One of my best books- "Half-Assed Health- How To Look Good Naked -WITHOUT Starving, Suffering, or Surgery" is available today for $4.99, and for every purchase, I'm going to give someone a 10-minute consultation, AND donate a dollar towards the Stevens Johnson Syndrome Foundation.

When you buy HALF ASSED HEALTH, you'll realize how the Workout industry just churns people and makes money from their misery, making things FAR more complicated than thy need to be, so they can continue to make money on people's fears.


 In my book, I break down the SIMPLEST, EASIEST and FASTEST ways to change your body- and you can read it in ONE sitting.

 Many people don't know this, but when I was little I had Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, and it's a horrible disease. In me, it was a reaction to Penicillin and what happens is that your body actually BURNS ITSELF from the inside out. The people have to go to the BURN UNIT, and are treated for relief- there is no cure. Manute Bol died of it, as many people do. 80% of people are left blind in one or both eyes, and it's pretty traumatizing. I was in the hospital for 2 months, and went to school very late into 1st grade, where all the kids thought I was very dirty (My skin was all different colors).

  Anyway, I hope you'll watch the video, and use $5 of non-shopping to help me make a small difference to some sick people, and get SEXY-LOOKING at the same time!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Lucky Guy?

So, when a guy gets married, it’s polite to call him “Lucky“.
“Oh, she’s a great lady- you’re a LUCKY guy!” people say. And whereas I’m sure it’s true sometimes, why is it that we say that? It’s not much of a compliment to the woman, now is it? “Oh, well- you got that girl, who OBVIOUSLY is an idiot, otherwise she wouldn't have picked YOU!”
That’s an insult to both of them, isn't it?
Like, he’s LUCKY that she had NO OTHER OPTIONS to choose from?
Well, I got news for you, and on behalf of all of us guys who were “lucky” enough to find some great women-
So maybe we were “lucky” enough that we HAD THE BALLS to ask out our women, court them, romance them, and eventually marry them. Maybe we were “lucky” enough not to let the opportunity pass us by, and instead put our hearts on the line and commit despite the fact that NO man actually wants to do that (yeah, I said it).
Maybe we were “lucky” enough that when she was crying we CARED and let her have a shoulder and a manly, soothing, protective hug.
Maybe we were “Lucky” enough to tell our friends “she’s the one” and tell the other women “sorry, I’m taken”.
But that hasn’t been my experience. For me, everytime I’ve found myself with a woman, it took some sort of RISK, I took a CHANCE, and it took BALLS for me to get there.
Saying hello takes BALLS.
Asking for her name when all you want to do is rip off her clothes takes BALLS.
Leaning in for the first kiss takes BALLS.
Saying “I don’t know what the future holds, but dammit, I want to spend it with you, and I’ll do whatever I can to put a smile on your face” TAKES BALLS.
And women like men with BALLS.
So yeah, I know some guys who are ultra-duds and they’re with some hot but so-desperate-I-was-getting-older-and-I-wanted-to-get-married women who were lucky to be in the right place at the right time, but even then- it took BALLS.
So next time you hear someone say that to a guy, just remember that even if he’s a sloppy, slovenly, dumb, ugly, unmotivated, broke loser- at some point, he had some BALLS.
So- do you have what it takes to get LUCKY?
It’s like growing a business- sure, some guys get lucky, but some guys GROW SOME BALLS AND GO FOR IT.
Will You?'
P.S- If you’re a guy who “Got Lucky” with his woman, why not pass this around- no one will think you’re being arrogant, and if they do- f*ck ‘em! BALLS.
P.P.S- By the way, ALLLLLL of this stands for women too. And for women, it can be even harder, because you’re not expected to “Have Balls” I mean, the metaphor is… BALLS! Maybe we should call them “OVARIES”!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

The Moment It All Changes

This feels unfinished, but doesn't everything...?

As this book opens, we see you reading it. The surrounding areas are a picture of your life right now. This is the beginning of our movie, and you’re the star- we know this because we’ve started with you, sitting there, reading this.

The thing is, we flash back to that time you wanted to do something, that thing you wanted to do, we see scenes of your life where you have failed over and over, and we see how those times, and what you learned during them have brought you to your current life- sitting there reading this,

But now we see you take a deep breath.

You let it out slowly- with resolve, you look at the camera and say:

Today is going to be different!

That thing you wanted to do today, that thing that you were going to put off- that reason that you bought this book, in the small hopes that it would get you off your ass to go TRY- that reason is now the thing you ARE going to do. You have no doubt about it-

The audience swells in a little cheer as we see you take another deep breath, look to camera and say- YES- I WILL!!

The couple in the front row hold each other a little tighter, because your resolve has spread to them- he’;s going to be a better husband, she is going to be a better wife. Your resolve to finally go do that thing you really, really want to try has given them courage to be better for each other.

The old man in the middle seat smiles wide, his wrinkles and age spots coming together in a dance like the stars on the night sky, remembering a time when he went for it- that girl, that job, that small showing of courage and telling life that he would not be denied. His feeling reminds him of what it is like to be alive, and he too resolves that he is not dead- dammit, if he can watch a movie, and he can breath, then dammit- he can still go do it!

You smile at your audience, knowing that you have done this for them, and you immediately get started on your plan. You know that every montage needs a list of actions, and most have a paper plan- step 1- is always to begin, even if the hero doesn’t know what to do.

so you start. My god, the makeup people have done a fantastic job because you look amazing. The lighting people have this glow that is coming from you, the music swells, and the camera pans in to watch you working hard towards your goal. We all know that you will make it if you keep it up.

You begin with excitement and energy; you feel like you are a new person, and you are- you are now one of those people who does the thing- not anymore being someone who SAYS they’re “going to” or a non-whatever- you are an actual member of that elite group- you call yourself by one of those titles even before you have actually finished because you know you will accomplish it, you just haven’t caught up to that moment in time yet.

We are watching your montage- you have never been so attractive because your light shines from the inside, your resolve, your spirit, your LIFE has led you to this moment, and we feel happy and giddy as we watch you take action.

Your first obstacle comes up, and whereas before it would be a stumbling block, maybe even something that would have prevented your goal, you break through it simply because you have already made that decision- there’s nothing to think about anymore- you are in the PROCESS, and it doesn’t end here- the PROCESS ends at the finish line, at the goal, at the end- when you WIN.

It doesn’t actually matter when that is, how far in the future, or even if it’s beyond your lifetime- you have set the actions in motion, and the audience watches, now knowing how the movie ends, but wanting to watch it happen.

And then you stop.

You stop for a second.

Just to reflect on what has happened.

Not just in this montage, but from the beginning- you watch that horrible thing that happened so long ago, and realize that it HAD to happen for you to come to this point in your life. You can actually look at that horrible time in your life, and from this perspective be GRATEFUL for it, because of how it has all turned out.

Without that horrible experience, which you cursed at the time, you wouldn’t be able to do what you are doing now. You see it again, from this perspective, and its pain has transformed. It’s not that the memory doesn’t hurt; it still does, but you relish in it. From this perspective, it gives you a new appreciation for the rest of your life- you see it all as a part of what has brought you to now.

And that’s when it happens.

In the middle of this montage.

Your actions, and reflections. Your past and present.

You see your life from the FUTURE, and realize that it has ALWAYS been about building you towards the next thing you want to do. The next thing you want to BECOME.

Your entire life: the childhood traumas, the teen angst, the adult insecurities, the middle-age doubts, the senior fears have all conspired together to help you CREATE WHO YOU ARE- you ARE these experiences, and you ARE the choices, and you ARE the PROCESS itself.

From this vantage point, the audience watching your growth cheers, seeing themselves in the process, seeing themselves as the challenges, seeing themselves AS the process.

We ARE the process, and we can cheer about every part of it. We stand up, together, cheering, applauding your progress, your life- because it is our own.

WE Cheer as we take a long view- one that spans forever, seeing the entire movie that has no beginning and no ending, but a never ending PROCESS of one decision to the next, creating a weaving pattern of CHANGE that brings about the beautiful nature of the Universe, created by us-


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