Do They Like Me?

I am writing this on Christmas Day. It's been rolling around in my head, and I wanted to be sure to write this out...

A lot of people are looking for a partner, and some of them have it all backwards. They often ask "Do they like me?" they also look for a certain "resume". If they can find someone with the right resume, who also likes them- BINGO! They go for it.

 Here's what I mean: Imagine a girl who is very polite, she's tidy, she's sexy. She always wears heels, works out, and takes care of herself. She's "nice" too.

These are fantastic lines on a resume.

Many guys would see these traits and say "Damn, that's the girl for me!" and then twist and turn themselves hoping to get her to like them.

 This is resume seeking.

Women do this even more; they look for a guy who makes a certain income, drives a kind of car, lives a particular lifestyle. Hopefully, he's "nice" too... Or at least polite. Often, a woman will find herself dating a guy with a great resume, but saying to herself "I SHOULD like him..." and years later she realizes that she doesn't.

 I don't think there's anything wrong with having a list of things you want in a partner, but what if you started with different list?

 Do you like YOURSELF when you're with them?
What parts of yourself do they bring out in you?

No one wants to be chosen solely for their resume; they want their partner to love THE REST OF THEM too- foibles, imperfections, hurts, and fears.

So, maybe instead of polishing up the resume, why not work on the actual INTERVIEW part?

Newtown Massacre and its opposite

While the Newtown Massacre was happening this morning...

I was being a brontosaurus, falling into an audience of kindergarteners, and first and second graders just to make them laugh. I had complained when I had to wake up at 5am this morning to get into a van and drive for two hours to do 2 shows. I was complaining because it felt so early to go make kids laugh and clap and have a great time while learning about things like teamwork and cooperation.

I don't think the guy who committed the Newtown Massacre was complaining. I imagine that he was preparing to make his big statement, and do the OPPOSITE of what I was going to do that day. He was busy preparing to destroy hundreds of lives in Newtown, and no matter how many times we hear about these shooting sprees, see them, and cry about them, they keep happening.

 I consider myself a tough guy, but I just lost it over this one, and I don't know why. Maybe the Newtown Massacre was the last straw. Anyway, I grabbed a camera because I wanted to remember how I felt and what I was thinking:

 

Newtown Massacre and My Tears

I hope I see this in the future, and realize that this event is what changed everything. Then it might all be worth it. The strange thing is that all morning, I was singing a song by my friend Joel Henry Stein that is all about peace called "This Xmas". One of the lines is "What I want this Christmas, is write 'Peace' on Santa's Wish List". Later on he says "And you may say that the time will come, but it can never be now... and you may say you want it too, but you just don't know how...."

Well, what are we gonna do now?

What is the OPPOSITE of this tragedy, and how can we do MORE OF THAT?

I Love My Cousin

Is there a reason I love my cousin?

I went ice skating the other day in Bryant Park here in New York City. It was a friends’ birthday, and she thought it might be fun to go ice skating, since it was free-

-except for the skate rental, hot chocolate, and lock for the lockers.

But that’s cool- I am proud to live in a socialist city like that, where parts are free, and parts are for pay- it makes a profit every year- and it’s FREE!

Well, as we saw the VERY long line to get in, I walked around the rink just to see if we could find our friend skating around.

That’s when I saw them.

There were two little guys, about 7 or 8 skating together, and they kinda looked like each other, so I assume they were brothers. The bigger one was helping the smaller one keep his balance, but the bigger one was pretty wobbly too. You could tell he was just trying to “be there” for the little guy as he held the railing along the outside.

As they gripped the handrails, and carefully put one foot in front of the other, I remarked “Wow, it must be great to have a big brother to help you out like that, huh?”

Well, the bigger kid looked at me as if I had said the silliest thing in the world:

“He’s my cousin.”

And that’s all he said.

He said it like “Duh, I love my cousin, and he needs help, so this is what I’m doing- THIS IS WHAT COUSINS DO…”

Well, I suddenly had the biggest lump in my throat as they just continued on with this ice skating thing, totally ignoring the (dashing) older man with the ridiculous observation.

I was reminded of my own cousin Mark.

I love my cousin Mark.

He’s my only first cousin; he’s taller, older, better-and-younger looking, he’s a lawyer, and taught me to like Star Trek and Prince. He was who I got to play with when we had family dinners,  and now that we’re older we still sit next to each other and talk and laugh about… Star Trek, and Prince.

…and maybe the hottest girl on whatever show.

He recently got married, and I got to be his best man. I got to do a best man speech for him, and everyone knows I love my cousin Mark.

You probably have a cousin who is instantly your friend. Sure, you might disagree on things (like him not liking J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek), but just because you are family, you’re friends.

And it’s not like your Toy-and-Parental-Attention-Stealing siblings.

Why do I Love My Cousin? I’ve never heard of “Cousin Rivalry” have you?

I remember a time when Mark and I both slept over at our grandmas house, and we were small enough to be in the same bed. I wanted to sleep under the covers, but he was terrified that there would be no air and I would suffocate on his watch, so after a long debate (I love my cousin- he’s a lawyer now) we settled on my sleeping under the covers that were knit with holes in them.

When I was really sick with Stevens Johnson Syndrome, he came to see me which could not have been very easy. I needed someone to play with while I was recovering, and he took a shot so he could be around me (And this was in his early teens- there must have been more exciting things to do than be around your sick cousin… BUT THAT’S WHAT COUSINS DO).

I love my cousin, so it’s easy for me to do stuff for him and with him too.  I’m sure there’s a cousin that you feel the same way about. It’s fun to talk about the same old things, new things, and the new things about the old things. Now our conversations are about being married, and our parents lives changing. Maybe we’ll be talking about being parents ourselves and having our kids play together. Who knows?

Your cousin might be older, younger, close, or far, but you know that at times like the Holidays, birthdays, weddings, funerals, or any other special occasions, you remember your cousins. There’s something about the “kids of your parent’s brothers and sisters” that just brings them close enough without the headaches.

Sure, they’re crazy, and they come from that other part of town. Maybe they’re constantly going into business and want you to work with them, or buy their thing, or vote for their crazy candidate. But you know when the time comes, they’ll say “I love my cousin”, and they’ll claim you as their own.

You can trust your cousin.

There might even be a time when you feel like you’re on shaky footing, and the ice may be thin and slippery, but if you’re lucky to have a cousin like mine, you know that they won’t let you slip and fall through.

And if you’re REALLY lucky, they know that about you too.

Share this with someone if you know what I mean by “I love My Cousin“

How Do You Find an Agent... and Keep One!

Hey Future Stars!

So, one of my personal not-really-a-joke jokes is "One of these days I'm going to start taking my career seriously, then look out!" I say that because I often do these big great gigs, and then I stop for a while... and then I get back into the swing of things.

Well, this week I went to see my friend Lisa Gold do her great seminar for actors: "How to Get and Keep an Agent" See, every once in a while, I get worried about my agent relationship, so I went for the "Keep an Agent" part.  But a lot of my friends often ask me:

"How Do You Find An Agent, Bones?"

I often get into a conversation where I reminisce about the days when I freelanced for a while with several different agencies, until I eventually had to sign with my favorite. My advice to How Do You Find An Agent is really anecdotal, but when pressed, I can do a seminar on it too!

But the way that Lisa Gold puts her work together, you can tell that she really enjoys helping actors get ahead in their careers.

 Well, after I went to her seminar this week, I'm SUPER-RECOMMENDING her work. I told some people to go to the live seminar, but now I see that Lisa has them available for download.

Even though I am a professional working actor and have a career going, Lisa has changed my approach to many of the ways I'm tackling not only getting representation, but so much more about the biz that I didn't even know I needed to know!

The seminar download is just a few bucks, and since I make money online instead of waiting tables I just decided to use some of that cash to pay for my actor training. That made sense to me. So, the next time someone asks me "How Do You Find An Agent", I'm sending them to Lisa!

I give Lisa Gold, Act Outside the Box, and How to Get and Keep an Agent my HIGHEST recommendation.  Here's a LINK  to find out more about it.

 I hope you get it, love it, and use it like I did.

 Let Your Light So Shine Before Men,

Bones

Wait- I missed the Victoria's Secret Special?

OMG.

 I missed it?

 I MISSED IT?!?!?! 

I got a text from my cousin saying that his wife was "SURE those boobs were fake"
 and I was like "Wha....? Who...?"

 And he said "You're NOT watching the VICTORIA'S SECRET special?"

 I jumped from my seat, and turned on the TV: Just in time to see this:

She was just leaving the stage, and I didn't even know The Victoria's Secret Special was on!

I was on a Webinar learning how to make money online, and it was so good, I totally lost track of time! The Victoria's Secret Special was the last thing on my mind because I was learning how to make money to BUY all of the stuff! 

 So, my wife was like "Ohhhh, you missed it? Maybe it'll be on Demand."

 I obviously am The Luckiest Guy to have found my wife.

 So, instead, I just went to the Internet and found this:



Problem Solved :-)

 Now, I'll say this- These are some skinny women.

 I mean, I'm all into fitness, and my wife does trapeze and is strong and thin, but the women in Victoria's Secret are skinny. I'm all for women in underwear, and these are absolutely gorgeous, but I wouldn't mind seeing a woman with some good curves.

Maybe there needs to be a SPECIAL Victoria's Secret Special for women with hips!

 Does anyone agree with me?

Seth Godin's Formula For Success in 2012 and Beyond

How To Succeed in The "New Economy" according to Seth Godin...

Let me make this clear- I think Seth Godin is brilliant. I love how he writes, and how he has been on the cutting edge of marketing and the world of business from an IDEA standpoint instead of the money standpoint. He makes a clear distinction between doing something for a PURPOSE versus doing something for an "advantage". "Tribes" is probably his most powerful book, but I have almost all of them, and I eagerly pre-order a Seth Godin release the second I hear about it.

What does Seth Godin say now?

This video clip has Seth Godin sitting down with some dude talking about why people now have to take their own financial destinies into their own hands. "Pick Yourself" he says, and I've been doing it for years now.
 
Seth Godin says "Pick Yourself"

 I keep telling people that I don't have to ask permission from anyone where or when I can go eat, go to the bathroom, release my book, play HALO, or do ANYTHING because I create my own income... Some days I'm better than others, but that's not the point! What do YOU want to do in life? WHY should you create a new independent course for yourself?

Will you follow Seth Godin's advice?

If you want to start being more independent, I suggest you take a look at how we're creating incomes with this blog. You don't need to wait for anyone's permission- you can really "Pick Yourself"

PICK YOURSELF HERE

Look Sexy, Save Money, and Help Some Sick Kids...

Today is Black Friday, and the stores are selling, selling, selling. Well today, I felt like I should be helping someone, and I realized that I have stuff to sell, and I could help people along the way...
One of my best books- "Half-Assed Health- How To Look Good Naked -WITHOUT Starving, Suffering, or Surgery" is available today for $4.99, and for every purchase, I'm going to give someone a 10-minute consultation, AND donate a dollar towards the Stevens Johnson Syndrome Foundation.

When you buy HALF ASSED HEALTH, you'll realize how the Workout industry just churns people and makes money from their misery, making things FAR more complicated than thy need to be, so they can continue to make money on people's fears.

IT"S IN THEIR INTEREST TO MAKE THINGS COMPLICATED!

 In my book, I break down the SIMPLEST, EASIEST and FASTEST ways to change your body- and you can read it in ONE sitting.

 Many people don't know this, but when I was little I had Stevens-Johnson Syndrome, and it's a horrible disease. In me, it was a reaction to Penicillin and what happens is that your body actually BURNS ITSELF from the inside out. The people have to go to the BURN UNIT, and are treated for relief- there is no cure. Manute Bol died of it, as many people do. 80% of people are left blind in one or both eyes, and it's pretty traumatizing. I was in the hospital for 2 months, and went to school very late into 1st grade, where all the kids thought I was very dirty (My skin was all different colors).

  Anyway, I hope you'll watch the video, and use $5 of non-shopping to help me make a small difference to some sick people, and get SEXY-LOOKING at the same time!

Lucky Guy?

So, when a guy gets married, it’s polite to call him “Lucky“.

“Oh, she’s a great lady- you’re a LUCKY guy!” people say. And whereas I’m sure it’s true sometimes, why is it that we say that? It’s not much of a compliment to the woman, now is it? “Oh, well- you got that girl, who OBVIOUSLY is an idiot, otherwise she wouldn't have picked YOU!”

That’s an insult to both of them, isn't it?

Like, he’s LUCKY that she had NO OTHER OPTIONS to choose from?

Well, I got news for you, and on behalf of all of us guys who were “lucky” enough to find some great women-

IT TAKES BALLS.

So maybe we were “lucky” enough that we HAD THE BALLS to ask out our women, court them, romance them, and eventually marry them. Maybe we were “lucky” enough not to let the opportunity pass us by, and instead put our hearts on the line and commit despite the fact that NO man actually wants to do that (yeah, I said it).

Maybe we were “lucky” enough that when she was crying we CARED and let her have a shoulder and a manly, soothing, protective hug.

Maybe we were “Lucky” enough to tell our friends “she’s the one” and tell the other women “sorry, I’m taken”.

But that hasn’t been my experience. For me, everytime I’ve found myself with a woman, it took some sort of RISK, I took a CHANCE, and it took BALLS for me to get there.

Saying hello takes BALLS.

Asking for her name when all you want to do is rip off her clothes takes BALLS.

Leaning in for the first kiss takes BALLS.

Saying “I don’t know what the future holds, but dammit, I want to spend it with you, and I’ll do whatever I can to put a smile on your face” TAKES BALLS.

And women like men with BALLS.

So yeah, I know some guys who are ultra-duds and they’re with some hot but so-desperate-I-was-getting-older-and-I-wanted-to-get-married women who were lucky to be in the right place at the right time, but even then- it took BALLS.

So next time you hear someone say that to a guy, just remember that even if he’s a sloppy, slovenly, dumb, ugly, unmotivated, broke loser- at some point, he had some BALLS.

and to BE LUCKY TAKES BALLS.

So- do you have what it takes to get LUCKY?

It’s like growing a business- sure, some guys get lucky, but some guys GROW SOME BALLS AND GO FOR IT.

Will You?'

P.S- If you’re a guy who “Got Lucky” with his woman, why not pass this around- no one will think you’re being arrogant, and if they do- f*ck ‘em! BALLS.

P.P.S- By the way, ALLLLLL of this stands for women too. And for women, it can be even harder, because you’re not expected to “Have Balls” I mean, the metaphor is… BALLS! Maybe we should call them “OVARIES”!

The Moment It All Changes

This feels unfinished, but doesn't everything...?
*****************

As this book opens, we see you reading it. The surrounding areas are a picture of your life right now. This is the beginning of our movie, and you’re the star- we know this because we’ve started with you, sitting there, reading this.

The thing is, we flash back to that time you wanted to do something, that thing you wanted to do, we see scenes of your life where you have failed over and over, and we see how those times, and what you learned during them have brought you to your current life- sitting there reading this,

But now we see you take a deep breath.

You let it out slowly- with resolve, you look at the camera and say:

Today is going to be different!

That thing you wanted to do today, that thing that you were going to put off- that reason that you bought this book, in the small hopes that it would get you off your ass to go TRY- that reason is now the thing you ARE going to do. You have no doubt about it-

The audience swells in a little cheer as we see you take another deep breath, look to camera and say- YES- I WILL!!

The couple in the front row hold each other a little tighter, because your resolve has spread to them- he’;s going to be a better husband, she is going to be a better wife. Your resolve to finally go do that thing you really, really want to try has given them courage to be better for each other.

The old man in the middle seat smiles wide, his wrinkles and age spots coming together in a dance like the stars on the night sky, remembering a time when he went for it- that girl, that job, that small showing of courage and telling life that he would not be denied. His feeling reminds him of what it is like to be alive, and he too resolves that he is not dead- dammit, if he can watch a movie, and he can breath, then dammit- he can still go do it!

You smile at your audience, knowing that you have done this for them, and you immediately get started on your plan. You know that every montage needs a list of actions, and most have a paper plan- step 1- is always to begin, even if the hero doesn’t know what to do.

so you start. My god, the makeup people have done a fantastic job because you look amazing. The lighting people have this glow that is coming from you, the music swells, and the camera pans in to watch you working hard towards your goal. We all know that you will make it if you keep it up.

You begin with excitement and energy; you feel like you are a new person, and you are- you are now one of those people who does the thing- not anymore being someone who SAYS they’re “going to” or a non-whatever- you are an actual member of that elite group- you call yourself by one of those titles even before you have actually finished because you know you will accomplish it, you just haven’t caught up to that moment in time yet.

We are watching your montage- you have never been so attractive because your light shines from the inside, your resolve, your spirit, your LIFE has led you to this moment, and we feel happy and giddy as we watch you take action.

Your first obstacle comes up, and whereas before it would be a stumbling block, maybe even something that would have prevented your goal, you break through it simply because you have already made that decision- there’s nothing to think about anymore- you are in the PROCESS, and it doesn’t end here- the PROCESS ends at the finish line, at the goal, at the end- when you WIN.

It doesn’t actually matter when that is, how far in the future, or even if it’s beyond your lifetime- you have set the actions in motion, and the audience watches, now knowing how the movie ends, but wanting to watch it happen.

And then you stop.

You stop for a second.

Just to reflect on what has happened.

Not just in this montage, but from the beginning- you watch that horrible thing that happened so long ago, and realize that it HAD to happen for you to come to this point in your life. You can actually look at that horrible time in your life, and from this perspective be GRATEFUL for it, because of how it has all turned out.

Without that horrible experience, which you cursed at the time, you wouldn’t be able to do what you are doing now. You see it again, from this perspective, and its pain has transformed. It’s not that the memory doesn’t hurt; it still does, but you relish in it. From this perspective, it gives you a new appreciation for the rest of your life- you see it all as a part of what has brought you to now.

And that’s when it happens.

In the middle of this montage.

Your actions, and reflections. Your past and present.

You see your life from the FUTURE, and realize that it has ALWAYS been about building you towards the next thing you want to do. The next thing you want to BECOME.

Your entire life: the childhood traumas, the teen angst, the adult insecurities, the middle-age doubts, the senior fears have all conspired together to help you CREATE WHO YOU ARE- you ARE these experiences, and you ARE the choices, and you ARE the PROCESS itself.

From this vantage point, the audience watching your growth cheers, seeing themselves in the process, seeing themselves as the challenges, seeing themselves AS the process.

We ARE the process, and we can cheer about every part of it. We stand up, together, cheering, applauding your progress, your life- because it is our own.

WE Cheer as we take a long view- one that spans forever, seeing the entire movie that has no beginning and no ending, but a never ending PROCESS of one decision to the next, creating a weaving pattern of CHANGE that brings about the beautiful nature of the Universe, created by us-

BEGUN WITH YOUR DECISION, BEGUN WITH YOUR NOW.

"In The Heights" the MUSICAL!

I absolutely LOVE the musical "In The Heights" by Lin-Manuel Miranda, and I got to see it before it went to Broadway.
When I saw the show, I felt COMPELLED to play the part of "Usnavi", who reminded me of myself a lot.

The character raps, sings a little, and doesn't dance too well- JUST LIKE ME! So, when I got the opportunity to audition for it, I jumped all in, and got to do the show. I was ecstatic, and after it was all done, I had this promo video made:

Lin-Manuel Miranda's music just moved my soul, and made me reminisce about my family here in New York. I cried my eyes out as I watched "Paciencia y Fe", because it so reminded me of my family's story and struggle to come to America. I REALLY connected with this broadway musical, and a few of my friends really understood. It is a show about US, in the same way that "Fiddler On The Roof" is about the Jews.

And I felt like the show was about ME.

This show is PERSONAL to me, and I hope to be able to write something as powerful for other people.

I got to experience some great emotions, and bring those to the audiences who came, and many folks told me it was the bet show they had seen at that theater. We got to perform for a few of the other people who have done it before (I wish Lin-Manuel could have seen us!) and they thought we were great.too.

That MEANS something to me.

As we continue in the crazy profession, I finally got to cross a life-goal off my list- to perform that show with my Mom in the audience. Thank you to everyone who was a part of making that happen.

Bones Rodriguez in IN THE HEIGHTS!

I'm Rapping and Singing in: Y'know how you have those things in life you WISH you would get the chance to do? Playing USNAVI in "In The Heights" is one of those things for me. I had just about given up on the idea since it closed on Broadway, and the character is in his twenties, and I... am not. Good thing I've been healthy! Amazingly, CR Productions (The Capital Region's Best-Rated Theatre) chose to do the show, and chose me for the part! It was one of those things: Laura had done two shows for them in the past, they knew I wanted to do the show, and when the guy who was going to do it had to drop out (congrats on your baby!), I got the audition! If you live anywhere near COHOES New York, from September 13-23rd I'll be playing USNAVI in this Amazing Show, and I would LOVE to do it for you! (Click the picture to see the video) You can also paste this link into your browser: ADVANCE TICKETS can be bought here: CR PRODUCTIONS

Also...I win GOLD during the Olympics! That NY LOTTO COMMERCIAL I shot back a few months ago was running during the Olympics like Usain Bolt! Thanks to everyone for the fun facebook messages, and since the Lotto commercial is running, and "In The Heights" is about winning the lotto- I'm off to get some tickets- JUST IN CASE! Thanks for reading, and please keep in touch! Bones Rodriguez http://www.BonesRodriguez.com

The Nutella Breakfast IDIOTS

Last night I was watching The Daily Show, and Lewis Black was on talking about people lying in the campaign- yes, that sucks.
But something else caught my attention while he was talking about an advertisement that Nutella was running, that showed Nutella to be a great breakfast food.
Lewis Black said something like "You'd have to be an IDIOT to believe that spreading creamy chocolate onto a piece of bread is a good breakfast for your kids!"
It was funny, and the audience laughed.

But hold on- it's not that Nutella is a good breakfast- OF COURSE, but why would people have to be IDIOTS to believe it? Actually, how many people had to OUTRIGHT LIE to get that message out there?

Yes, we know that Nutella is going to lie so they can make their money, right?
But how many PEOPLE make up Nutella? How many people had to say "Well, I'm not going to stop this ad even though it is a BLATANT lie, and someone would have to be an IDIOT to believe it- let's run it."
And then the poster company had to say "Well, it's not my job to stop a BLATANT LIE, just because this will POISON children a little bit". Then the guy who puts up the posters had to say the same thing, etc.

There had to be a whole STRING of people who had to agree to tell this BLATANT lie, that parents would have to be IDIOTS to believe, right?

IS THAT WHAT WE WANT?

Do we want a world where a blatant lie is passed around, poisoning kids before they even get a chance to start the day? What kind of a world are we creating where we allow poisons to advertised as breakfast where people have to be IDIOTS to believe the message that hundreds of people have verified?

And where does this leave COCO PUFFS as breakfast?

IS THAT WHAT WE WANT????????

DAMN, I hit 40...?

Ok, so I just turned 40 years old, and I could be doing better.

I don't know if everyone feels this way, but there are definitely certain things where I feel like I haven't grown at all, and I have been pretty disappointed in myself in those areas.

Those areas would be financially, career-wise, accomplishment-wise, making up English words-wise.

But y'know what?

I can't believe I actually have a muscular body! I just put up a new picture on facebook, and people have been pretty complimentary. I think the people who credit my Genes are funny. I have been trying to gain some muscle for more than 20 years, pretty steadily and stubbornly.

Anyway, so I wrote this book, and people are buying it up- http://www.HalfAssedHealth.com

One of my friends talks about how I've always been skinny, and I agree with her- but that has NOTHING to do with the growth. Had I not been working out, I'd probably just still be skinny, y'know? Or that kind of skinny-fat thing.

Anyway, if you're working hard at the gym, but not getting results, don't give up- the turtle gets the the finish line, even if not first.

Now if I could just get that attitude about those other parts of my life...

TheThankYouChallenge.com

So, I made a new site, called TheThankYouChallenge, and it's about spreading gratitude and appreciation through sending a card through the mail. I of course use http://www.SendOutCards.com/Bones, but even if you do it by hand, it's a great way to let someone know how important they are to you.

http://www.TheThankYouChallenge.com  Coach Code: Bones


http://www.TheThankYouChallenge.com Coach Code: Bones