YouCantMissThis.com- By Bones Rodriguez: A Polite Mugger?

Monday, February 16, 2009

A Polite Mugger?

A male is walking down the street, and another male, Chris
approaches them.

Chris: Excuse me, I'm sorry to bother you, do you think someone can be mugged without really causing any trauma? I mean, I was mugged when I was in High school, and I am always scared when I go to the same place. I'd like to mug you without causing that extra fear.

Male: What? Oh!

Chris: Well- Hold on- I'm smiling, see? I don't want this to be one of those traumatic experiences for you, I just want you to give me money.

Male: Why not just ask?

Chris: I don't like rejection.

Male: Well, what if I say no?

Chris: Well, I don't have a gun or a knife, I thought that would be too dangerous, however, if we ended up fighting, you would definitely need the hospital, and I figure, that would cost you money too- so, why not save yourself that money by just giving it to me to begin with?

Male: You make a good point, but how do you know I won't fight back?

Chris: You might, and then we'd both need to go to the doctor, I'm sure- a waste of even more money. I guess this is why fear works so well, because you won't fight back, or analyze this, and we could just get going with our lives.

Male: Why not just not mug me?

Chris: Oh, that's not so much an option for me- I'm pretty desperate. Very few people actually want to scare and steal from other people; we just think we have no other choices.

Male: Interesting. You know, we could project this whole conversation to the nations of the world.

Chris: Good point. So, if you just give me the money, we won't fight, and I won't waste any more of your time.

Male: Yeah, thing is, if I give it to you easily, then you'll see no reason to earn money any other way.

Chris: That's not necessarily so.

Male: True.

Chris: Hey- If I were your brother, or your kid, a relative or something like that, you' give it to me right?

Male: Maybe. I might loan it to you.

Chris: Nah- that's not really what I need. That got me here to begin with.

Male: How about this- I give you the money, and then I file a report with the police. Then, you promise to make the same deal with someone else if you mug them, and then at three strikes, you'll go to jail.

Chris: Hm. I wonder if that would be equitable on the world stage too?

Male: Dunno.

Chris: Well- gimme all your money. My name is Chris Johnson.

Male: Ok. I hope you use it well.

Chris: If you give me your email, I'll let you know how it all worked out.

Male: I'm very protective of my email address.

Chris: Understood. Well, I see you live here, so maybe I'll just drop by around this time another night.

Male: Yup- I'm here often.

Male give him the money

Chris: Ok then- thanks!

Male takes out a gun and shoots him dead.

Male: Should have scard me.

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