Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The BEST Scam Ever!!

Ok- so you don't care WHAT you do, what the hell kind of opportunity, business, or scam that you can get into, you just wanna get some cash, be successful, and rock the world, right?

I don't blame you.

Well I have a BIG secret for you- a BIG SECRET that the government, society, and your friends don't want you to know- a secret SO POWERFUL, that it can make you Rich, Beautiful, and best of all- RIGHT all the time!

Listen carefully to part one:

1- You can get RICH by doing PRACTICALLY NOTHING!!

All you have to do is investigate any or all of the opportunities you see, spend ALL of your money on CD's, DVD's, Beer, and hookers- then you sit back and watch the cash roll in! DO NOT attempt to READ anything or LEARN anything, just BUY IT. DO NOT follow any directions, and for GOD'S SAKE watch ALL of the TV you can- but don't TRY too hard!

That's right- just by being lazy and doing NOTHING you can get rich! The government doesn't want you to know these CAREFULLY GUARDED SECRETS, but I'm telling you-

You can do NOTHING- just be sure to BLAME everyone else for your "misfortune".

This BLAME is the key! You can GUILT people into giving you money!!



That's how simple it is!!! Just DO NOTHING to make money, and then GUILT someone who IS making money and being "productive" into giving you some!

IT'S SO SIMPLE!!!

These tactics were long-guarded secrets, but humans forgot about them. We now are living in an age that makes this possible again!

This time-tested secret works not only with money, but with OTHER parts of your life too:

2- You can become BEAUTIFUL and FIT by doing PRACTICALLY NOTHING!!

DO NOT exercise, and DO NOT eat well. In fact, if you sit in front of the television, and ONLY EAT what is advertised and is in a box, you'll do very well with this ancient secret.

Continue to SHOVEL food into your mouth, and be sure not to burn any calories doing it- then when you get FAT and SICK, you can blame the government, food companies, your parents, and SOCIETY for your "health issues"!

By using this BLAMING technique, you'll be able to GUILT them all into paying your medical bills, insurance costs (they rise y'know), and you'll get them to visit YOU because of your new-found "conditions".

Not to mention that you can GUILT them into liking you!

If you become unattractive to the opposite sex, you can call them shallow and one-dimensional. You can say things like "They just want us to be perfect". You can say that they have NO DEPTH of LOVE for your "true" self, and only your body.

And if you find someone who DOES like your new look and shape, you can guilt them for having a "sick-o fetish" for fatties- DON'T PUT UP WITH IT!!

Guilt and Shame- they work EVERYTIME!!

3- You can be RIGHT about EVERYTHING- ALL THE TIME- by doing PRACTICALLY NOTHING!!

This one I admit takes a little genuine idea-creating on your side, but if you practice, it's something you can do anywhere, anytime, and it NEVER FAILS:

During any conversation where you think someone is saying something that you disagree with (or even if they don't say it, but they LOOK like someone who would), just say these words:

"THAT'S WHAT GOD SAYS; IT'S IN THE BIBLE"

If they begin to talk, or ask any STUPID QUESTIONS that might contradict you, CUT THEM OFF and say again:

"THAT'S WHAT GOD SAYS; IT'S IN THE BIBLE"

This is a fool-proof way to ALWAYS BE RIGHT, and NEVER have to listen to anyone else again!

You use the same BLAME and GUILT techniques I've been describing for you- you BLAME GOD by saying that it's what "HE" (or "SHE" if you're having THAT argument) says, and then GUILT them by being shocked that they don't know that already- AS THEY SHOULD.

This works for Jews, Muslims, and Christians the best, but if you're of a DIFFERENT faith that is 100% correct all the time too, you can make up your OWN bible, or just say "HE (or SHE) TOLD ME IN PRAYER"- that works too.

So remember- BLAME and GUILT are ALWAYS available to you, and the more your practice the more you will be

RICH, BEAUTIFUL AND RIGHT ALL THE TIME!!

CONGRATS!!

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