Friday, February 27, 2004

"IMPOSSIBLE!"



I keep hearing about what a shamelss self-promoter I am, and I say you're damn right.



BUT NOT TODAY.



TODAY, YOU, reader and friend, will experience something you have NEVER EXPERIENCED BEFORE!

NO self-promotion today AT ALL!

"IMPOSSIBLE!" you say? Well, instead you will get:



ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU WANTED- for instance:



1- Where the HELL is KUNDALINI KOMEDY?



2- Where do you find THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT in New York?



3- Why has BONES RODRIGUEZ been ranked #28 in a WORLD-WIDE contest?



4- Can you DISCOVER THE SECRETS to beautiful, radiant skin?



5- What music will CHANGE OUR NATION?



6- Who worte about MOZART in a FOURSOME??



7- Where do I find THE LAUGHTER in New York for FREE?



8- WHY will today's SMALL BUSINESSES be TOMORROW'S GIANTS?



9- Can I really LEARN HOW TO READ 3x FASTER after reading ONE email?



PLUS!- One EXTRA BONUS answer that will leave you shivering in your BONES!





ANSWERS:



1- Kundalini Komedy has been working on separate projects lately, but has begun formulating a plan to have a WILD FUNDRAISER to fund our projects of a FULL-LENGTH SHOW and our upcoming MOVIE! Look out for details- visit www.KundaliniKomedy.com



2- For those of you who are NOT looking to do you Valentine's Day Shopping strictly from rite-aid, my friend Curt Williams has the BEST VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT in New York, because it is a TAILOR-MADE EXPERIENCE- Visit : www.Everywhim.com Where they specialize in the creation of unforgettable EXPERIENCES that blur the line between fantasy and reality and transform the world in which you live.



3- What? Me? Yep- 28th in the WORLD on BURNOUT 2- a racing Videogame for Xbox. #28 for "BIG SURF" Track. Beat THAT! (is this self-promoting? Not really, it's a challenge....)



4- Before I was "Bones", I went to The Bronx High School of Science, where I met Barbara Smith, and her mom, GEORGIANA. Georgiana looks like she's thirty- here's why: www.georgianacreations.com- Where Georgiana's recipes for beautiful skin are brought directly to you.



5- I remember when Hip-Hop had me asking about what I was gonna do with my life; not how I was gonna end someone else's. Strength of a Nation,Vol 1. - a totally clean, hard hitting compilation album designed to uplift America’s youth. Strength of a Nation is setting a standard of responsibility and concern in the hip-hop community. www.cdbaby.com/source-



6- Mozart was freaky! My friend Jesse's mother wrote about the TRUTH! "Marrying Mozart," a novel about the life and loves of the young Mozart and a family of four beautiful musical sisters, has just been released by Viking Penguin. It is now available from dozens of booksellers online. http://www.StephanieCowell.com. She used to let us play Dungeons and Dragons in her living room!



7- That's right- FREE LAUGHTER! Where the HELL can you find that in NEW YORK? Well, thursday nights I'll be perform a little Stand-up along with some hilariously sick people at "DEEP THROAT 'EM AT TOTEM" (see what I mean) at Totem- 505 East 12th St between A and B. Every Thursday at 8pm. Come and get DEEP THROATED!



8- Donald Trump said that in the New Millenium, any business not on the web, will not be in business. My friend Jon Van Giesen and Fictional Company is making sure that artists and "small business" folks stay in business: Whether you're looking to host a site for yourself, a theater, record company, print magazine, webzine, or small business, FictCo has a hosting plan that's right for you, as well as several that are wrong for you. We recommend you choose the plan that's right for you. http://www.fictco.com



9- I get asked all the time for tips on speed reading. I tell people to use your finger and make your eyes follow your finger instead of the other way around. People say that they don't get it unless they sound out the words one by one. Here's proof that you don't need to do that at all:

"Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.



Fcuknig amzanig huh?



I just tripled your speed. Trust me.



10- Here's the BONUS that will have you SHIVERING in your BONES! It's cold outside- if you go out without clothing, you'll be thrown in JAIL!



AND I NEVER PROMOTED ANYTHING OF MY OWN!!!!



P.S.- For those of you who are UNINSURED for your HEALTH- We have a new program-

This program is called the “BASIC MED PROGRAM” and includes the following:

1. Doctors

2. Hospitals

3. Ancillary Medical Services and

4. Prescriptions



The cost for this program is only $39.95 per month- www.YourHealthcareNetwork.com



P.P.S.- I couldn't resist- looks like you were right!







Let Your Light So Shine Before Men,

John "Bones" Rodriguez

Bones@BonesRodriguez.com

www.BonesRodriguez.com

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